Finally, a real debate, not a "mass-debate"

Just watched the Clinton-Obama debate... man, that's what they really should be like. After sitting through all those painful earlier debates with 10 people on stage, I think we finally saw a real one.

Maybe it's the numbers thing. Two for the magic, rather than ten. I mean, you still hear about the "Lincoln-Douglas" debates, but you wouldn't ever hear of the "Lincoln-Douglas-Smith-Jones-Weinstein-McDonald-Smithee-otherLincoln" debates.

Obama, Edwards, Carrot Top Tie Clinton for FL delegates!

(Cross-diaried at DailyKos)

Hot news! Even while Senator Clinton is literally on stage, claiming victory in the popular vote, we have truly stunning news on the *delegate* front.

Senators Obama and Edwards have tied Senator Clinton in the all-important delegate count, as has 90s icon and stand-up "comic," Carrot Top.

All have received the exact same total -- zero (out of a total of zero delagates at stake in Florida).

[Update]Breaking
In a further development of stunning stunningness, the following have also received the same number of delegates tonight as has Senator Clinton:

Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Dennis Kucinich, Mean Joe Green, Alanis Morrisette, Anson Williams, you, Barry Manilow, the guy who played Joe Izuzu, Cher, the boxer guy that Rocky fought in the last movie, Burt from Burt's Bees, Ben and Jerry, Right Said Fred, Fred Armisen, the guy you last bought cold cuts from, that dude who stared a little at you a little too long at the gym, Mini Me, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Gopher... and 300 million other Americans...

Truly stunning! Wow!

Naked Flights: Ultimate Solution to Air Safety?

Well, it's not quite punditry, but for all of you who stumbled across this site expecting to find something else... this might be the airline for you:

Fly naked on Germany's first nudist holiday flight
FRANKFURT (Reuters) - German nudists will be able to start their holidays early by stripping off on the plane if they take up a new offer from an eastern German travel firm.

Travel agency OssiUrlaub.de said it would start taking bookings from Friday for a trial nudist day trip from the eastern German town of Erfurt to the popular Baltic Sea resort of Usedom, planned for July 5 and costing 499 euros ($735).

"It's expensive, I know," managing director Enrico Hess told Reuters by phone. "It's because the plane's very small. There's no real reason why a flight in which one flies naked should be more expensive than any other."

The 55 passengers will have to remain clothed until they board, and dress before disembarking, said Hess. The crew will remain clothed throughout the flight for safety reasons.

Get the full story right here.

(Oh, and just to be clear, the flight attendent was offering you PEANUTS. That was the word, okay?)

"Buy George" Fund: Let's pay Bush to leave early

Okay, so we're all tired of President Bush, right? Come on, you Republicans in the back -- maybe you voted for him, but even you've had enough, ya?

We're pretty much all tired of him, and yet, we've still got to suffer through another year, right? Then again... maybe not. Stick with me here. This will sound crazy, but it just might work...

What would it take to convince President Bush to leave office early? Say... April 1st (just a coincidence that it's April Fools). Would $10 million do it? $50 million? $100 million? Surely, every man has his price.

Here's how it would work:

1) The good citizens of America pledge whatever it takes to get him out early.
2) Given that we are *likely* to know the presumptive nominees for each party by the end of February, we agree to hold an early presidential election... say, March 15th.
3) Whoever wins that is appointed VP on March 30th, with George Bush stepping down the following day.

And... voila! We get the new president we're all dying for, and we get him (or her) nearly 10 months early.

Now, granted, there are some potential challenges to this (Raising money would not be one of them, me thinks). There is the matter of holding an official presidential election early, something the Constitution does not allow. Fine -- so we'll just make it an "official world's greatest dad (or mom)" election. The winner gets a commemorative coffee mug... and the VP slot just "happens" to come right after that. There's also the matter of a vastly shortened general election campaign. Then again... is that really a problem?

We're not raising money... yet. But mull it over. It sounds crazy... but it just might be crazy enough to work.

Little League "Slaughter" Rules & Really Sucky Presidents

President Bush's will deliver the State of the Union address tonight -- mercifully that final one of his presidency. Unfortunately, given that these things take place in January -- it means we've got nearly another year to go.

I guess what I'm saying is that America is really, really, really tired of this guy. Not just Democrats, but Independents, and many Republicans (come on, admit it).

Gees, even his family is probably tired of him by this point. You think Bush 1.0 is happy about what this is indirectly doing to his legacy? And what about Jeb Bush -- highly popular, hard working former 2-term governor of Florida. He'd likely be the front runner for the GOP nomination, were it not for that pesky last name.

But I digress -- the point here is how to get this guy to retire early. The solution? The little league "slaughter" rule. Remember that? If one team were winning by 10, 15, 20 or whatever number of runs constituted a "slaughter," the game would mercifully end.

So why not have that kick in when a president falls below 30%? Or perhaps 25% or 20%? Let's just agree on a reasonable threshhold. Something to end the suffering. Mercifully, for the president and America. Sweeten the deal -- maybe offer a double pension or whatever.

What about Cheney, you might wonder? Look at his polling, folks. Under this rule, he would've been retired almost as soon as he took office.

Mitt Romney: "100,000 hair folicles can't be wrong!"

Come on, admit it. We've all been thinking it. The guy has great hair!

Of course, I won't vote for someone because of his hair...

Then again, I'm willing to bet a big-ass chunk of America just might. I mean, when's the last time we had a bald winner?

Gerald Ford, the last bald president, lost to Jimmy Carter in 1976. Aside from that... no one else even got close in the last 50 years.

And even before that, Ike may have won in 52 and 56, but... he ran against Adlai Stevenson, a guy who was even balder.

All I can say is, as a Dem, I'm rooting for McCain or Rudy... sans combover.

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